So I found this in the sunday funnies. I had to share it.



Heh, every teacher ends up doing this at least once a year. If they say they don't then they're lying.

Lyonell, why are you wearing that stupid hat of yours? And you've taken off work the last two days. You only wear that stupid hat of yours when...

Oh GOD NO!

It looks like the other teachers will be having fun this Halloween.

Falluca is letting go and bringing out his alter ego. Ex-Soviet nuclear scientist Dr. Boris Kachalovsky. Bad accent, white coat, Einstein wig, and he's declaring it done. Let's see how it goes this year, he hasn't tried this for almost a decade.

Lancer's classroom looks like a spider blew up in it. I swear I saw him in there talking to the little bugs. Not going near there until November.

I'm doing that haunted gym idea I tole from Dash last year. Only a little bit.

Ishiyama is wearing that horrid suit with the bat trying to hump her neck.

I swear, last summer someone was handing out crazy. Why did I get such a small dose?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071008/ap_on_re_us/pistol_packing_teacher;_ylt=AkPDuz0GatR3AJAx4xKQi9es0NUE

Okay, so I can see why some teachers in some schools might dream of something like this. No teacher has ever gone through the likes of their first school year and not dreamed of bringing a little something to school. Yanno, just to scare the little snot-nosed buggers. But to actually do it?

Whatever this lady's reasoning she needs a reality check. Having a gun won't make a nut suddenly become less nutty. No, having a gun can do several things including making you a "hero" for sniping some kid with a box cutter and, of course, making a bad situation worse.

We're teachers. Yes, the job description includes "be willing to lay down your life for the lives of your students". But get real. I'm more likely to die of smoke inhilation while having to run into a burning school bus to save little Billy who's trapped under a seat than to be shot in a school shooting. Despite the media coverage, being capped by a cop is more likely than being capped by a student.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am back from my vacation.

I always take a month-long vacation in the summer compiments of my ex-husband's alimony payments. This summer's was to Florida. It was okay. Stupid hot and I left at the first hurricane watch. Lots of golfers and old people. The amusement parks were overpriced and full of mundanes, the beaches full of skinny little terrors with their long legs and fake boobs and bottle-blonde hair.

Still, I'm glad to be home.

Now I can officially start summer football practice. I hope everyone's in town, we lost a lot of talent last year. We're going to need some serious new blood if we're going to keep our title.

Finally. The students are off and grades are turned in and it's a good month and a half before summer football training.

And I'm not teaching summer school this year! Ha!

I feel surprisingly good. Got up at the crack of noon, went for a run, had breakfast, for some reason found a hairy man in my bed. Kicked Lyonell back to the couch then started my day.

I dunno if I should pound you or not, Lyonell.

Lyonell have you been spiking my energy drinks with your funky teas?

I've been having dreams of being a horse. They're very nice dreams but seriously. I've never dreampt of being something other than me before.

Something Lyonell suggested I do while he was coercing me into helping move all his stuff.

The weirdest thing happened. A skinny little girl showed up on my doorstep trying to find her "daddy-kins" tried to attack me with a giant sword bigger than she was.

I did the sensible thing and dodged but at some point the little girl screamed something about me being a woman and... melted. I swept the goo outside but still...

What is going on?!

School's back on and that means training for basketball season.

I'm a bit disappointed that Long won't be on the team this year. Word around the teacher's lounge is that he's got himself a job at Axion. That should keep him busy enough.

Baxter! Stop getting detentions during practice! It's a problem.

Never was fond of Christmas. Have no one to spend it with and I'm not loony enough yet to buy a giant train set for the sole purpose of stealing my house from me.

Heh, I do have the faculty party to look forward to...

Lyonell! You're coming with me to the Homecoming dance. And you're wearing a dress.

And if you wear that pink teffeta nightmare I will have to HURT you!

Lyonell talked me into getting one of these. Mentioned something about unbound hilarity, a prank war, and making the students nervous.

Heh.